All the self-help books available on this planet preach to stay calm, maintain serenity amid all chaos. While that will be an ideal situation, is it the only way to manage your stress amid the chaos? Why is it not okay just let it out? Behave a bit differently than being too nice always? Staying optimistic and kind and rising above the situation is definitely any day preferred but sometimes it may get too much to digest and for a better mental and physical health vent it out, change your behaviour if need be, don’t ignore your feelings, don’t bury them, stand up for yourself. So, how to stay sane amid the chaos?
Forgive but not always forget
While ideally you should forgive the wrongdoing and move on, but not always will your mind and heart agree to this. This will be true especially for people whom you genuinely loved and cared for. When these people choose to hurt you, it becomes too difficult to stay sane and practice calm. If discussing the issue upfront is a possibility, go for it, don’t keep things inside. You don’t deserve to be treated badly by anyone. Building on resentment will also lead you to eventually lose your cool and one fine day you may just burst out. It’s better to solve the matter there and then. Assert yourself politely at the outset.
Often at the professional front, you may not be able to do much if your trust is broken but don’t let such a situation break you. Think through the situation, gain clarity where to put your heart and efforts and move on. Let the situation help you gain perspective and build your confidence. Let your work speak for you. Stay focused and as they say, “Success is the sweetest revenge.”
Also Read: You can choose to be happy
Accept not everyone will like you
It’s difficult to accept that not everyone will like you. This is tough as we believe that feelings will always get reciprocated. But unfortunately, not everyone’s wired the same way. You cannot force someone to like you and the best way to stay sane while dealing with this is to keep the relationship to basics. The more you will indulge the more hurt you will feel. When someone who matters ignores you the hurt is unimaginable. It’s quite possible that you enter into a groove of self-doubt here. But wait. Don’t take it personally. Some relationships are just not meant to be and the sooner you come at peace with this the better it will be for your mental health and growth. Let it go. Focus on more attainable goals. Focus on self-development.
Don’t be rude but don’t go overboard in showering attention. Also don’t pull away with the expectation of getting attention. This will again hurt you if not fulfilled. Just give the person space and focus on broader things. Sadly, that person’s life is complete without you and you should stop making efforts to create a place there. Force doesn’t work in love. If it’s not happening naturally, focus on the larger picture. Enjoy what you have. Stop focusing on what you can’t have.
Also Read: You can’t please everyone
Stop being too nice
Don’t rely on others to stand up for you. You are your own responsibility. Nurture yourself every moment. Prioritize yourself over everyone. Relationships and people should be there in your life to make you happy not drain your energy, make you feel bad about yourself. Say no when you have to. While the ability to love oneself above everyone else comes naturally to some people, your upbringing, wherein you have been taught to be to nice to everyone may become a big obstacle to your self-growth. Your self-esteem is of utmost importance and people who can’t value it do not deserve a place in your life.
Don’t be rude to them or hate them just know when to cut off, where to draw the line. You deserve to be loved, respected and cared for and if someone doesn’t think that’s important, no need to be too nice to them. Be honest, set your own rules and lead your life with confidence. People with true values will respect you and trust me these people exist, just are hard to find Remember niceness is not a weakness.
Stay positive! Love yourself! Focus on self-development!