Be Mentally Strong, Be Happier

Turn your wounds into wisdom

Oprah Winfrey

Pain is part of everyone’s life. Some acknowledge it and some decide to live in denial. Some use it to emerge as stronger beings, some give in to it and lose control. As the boundary between ‘acceptance’ and ‘letting go’ blurs, there rises the need for revenge often leading a normal person to indulge into the most heinous crimes.

Why is that while someone is able to sail through the tough times calmly, few just lose it?

The answer lies in mental toughness. 

Letting the storm pass

People popularly believe that ‘mental toughness’ is a trait you are born with. The decision to hide behind the farce of a weak mind is probably the easiest one to make. The other route is tedious and takes a lot of hard work and determination. It’s a tough job to condition your mind to accept failures, rejections and move on; it’s easier to succumb, blaming the world of being unjust and be revengeful.

But an important thought to ponder upon here is, ‘what did you benefit through the entire process?’ Did that spite really made you feel good? Maybe sometimes it’s necessary to vent out but definitely not always. It’s definitely a better idea to let the storm pass and trust me you will not repent the decision. 

Things will eventually turn out in your favour and it will be a bliss moment when you will get the option of turning away or accept. You will have true power at that moment and the feeling will be amazing. A momentary spiteful behaviour can never match that actual feeling of winning. This is what separates a mentally tough person from a weak mind.

Not a talent but a habit

Mental toughness can yield unmatched results in terms of self-development. It’s a necessary ingredient of self-care and the good news is that it can be cultivated in your persona. No one is born with the ability to withstand pain calmly as by nature humans are prone to anger, but with practice, you can cultivate the habit of withering storms of life with greater resilience and character.

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.

Kahlil Gibran

For instance, the habit of worrying is widely prevalent. We love to be negative about the future which we have no clue about. Isn’t it? Negative thoughts make even the present lose its’s charm. We enter into a vicious cycle of worrying, inviting negativity and then worrying more. 

You can train your brain to stay away from worrying. A conscious practice can make you stay detached from the future and enjoy the present to the fullest. In turn, you become more mentally strong to handle adversities since you didn’t expect anything from the future.

Similarly, letting go is an excellent habit that makes you stronger and happier. We humans love to cling to our own mistakes and the harm done to us by others. No one can undo the past. Mentally tough people mourn over a setback and make efforts to move on. Pick up the pieces and start over again. Trust me you will make lesser mistakes and let less and less people hurt you until one fine day you will have a strong aura around you which no one will be able to break in. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself 

Life is an unending journey. Every day is a new day. People change, circumstances change. Someone who was close to you yesterday can outgrow you today and that will hurt. But no need to be hard on yourself. It’s not you who has made them leave but the circumstances. The pain will be unsurmountable at least for some time as it’s painful to come out our comfort zone. But that’s how life is. We cannot control it. This is where your mental toughness will help you to sail through. 

Learn to be flexible, adaptable. Nothing is  permanent.  You must also have outgrown some things in life. Be more accepting. Don’t take it personally. It’s better to let go than stay with a dying relationship. Don’t ever compromise on your beliefs, passion and principles. Mourn over the loss and get going.  Be willing to embrace new facts and adjust your priorities. You can’t control the pain but you can definitely control the suffering. 

Be mentally strong and wither the storms with courage.

Keep smiling! 


Tips for staying positive ALWAYS

Though there’s no formula for staying optimistic, following few things can help you stress less and smile more. Here’s my list.

Indulge in the things you love

You have duties. Do them but don’t ignore things you love to do. The more time you are with your passion, the better you will feel about the world.

Step out of your comfort zone now and then

We love to stick to familiarity. This limits growth. Keep on trying out something new- a new hobby, a new décor, a new job, a new friend.

Don’t overanalyse

We have a tendency to believe everyone is judging and discussing us. This is not the case. People have their own lives. Enjoy yours and don’t overthink.

Have less or no expectations

No one is duty bound to give you joy. Be your own happy clown. Focus on giving rather than receiving.

Pay attention to yourself

In our busy schedules, we tend to ignore ourselves. That’s a big NO. Take good care of yourself at all times. Exercise. Eat right. Sometimes don’t hesitate to have that calorie loaded ice-cream! Regularly indulge in self-care. Take time to rejuvenate and stay away from negativity.

Be expressive

Don’t keep your feelings to yourself. Say it. If someone or something is bothering you, vent it out. Don’t build resentment. Speak it out. On the other side, if you have good feelings for someone, don’t hide it. Express it. 

Respect others

When you respect people’s desires, needs and feelings, usually the respect will be returned. This love and care is bound to bring a smile on your face. Some people are unable to reciprocate. Understand and let it be. Be more tolerant. Some may even consider your kindness as weakness. Once you identify the trait, stay away from such toxic people. This is necessary to stay positive.

Have a safety net

No matter what, we all face grief at some point or the other in life. Have a few people in life whom you can approach and talk with any time of the day, about just anything. In today’s world, this could be a difficult task to obtain but strive towards building this safety net. If you succeed, you are protected for life.

Be a bad ass once in a while

Accept that negativity is part of life. We cannot always smile and it’s okay to use the ‘swear’ words once a while. It relieves the stress and in a way boosts your mood. So you can go for it sometimes. But don’t make that a habit please!  

A healthy diet or a diet of your choice?

Perhaps this is one of the most common questions occurring in every person’s mind on an everyday basis. While all the literature and talk shows in the world ask you to follow a strict diet, following it up with a stricter exercise regime, how much good does this strictness do to your mind actually? Does your diet have a correlation with your happiness quotient? So, the question which really needed to be answered here is: should you have a healthy diet or a diet of your choice?

Benefits of a healthy diet

There remains no doubt that a healthy diet has direct relation with your body. If you eat a balanced food, your metabolism, your energy levels; everything inside remains in balance and you become more productive. A healthy body helps you to stay in a good mood since you have less worries about your health. Bad health makes you irritable, reduces your productivity, increases your health related expenditure and you succumb to a vicious cycle of low mood and poor health.

Additionally, following a healthy diet plan makes you less susceptible to the common lifestyle diseases making rounds these days such as obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular diseases and some types of cancer.

The benefits of following a healthy diet plan are numerous. That should be your choice definitely, but…

It’s ok to binge sometimes

Agreed a healthy diet brings you loads of benefits, but don’t stress over it. Sometimes let your heart do what it wants to. Grab that favourite chocolate ice cream once in a while! Indulging and letting loose is as much important as to be in discipline. Choose a day in the week when you allow yourself to have the food you want to actually eat. Binge if you want to. Don’t ignore your cravings all the time. 

Walk a bit extra or exercise a bit more if need be, but give in once in a while. The act will bring you immense joy which is necessary for your mental health. The indulgence will make your body release happiness hormones such as serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins, lifting your happiness and well-being quotient like nothing else.

We need balance in all spheres of our lives and diet is no exception. So, while being strict on yourself most of the times, don’t hesitate to give in to your cravings once in a while. You deserve it!

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